Saturday, April 16, 2016

Secret lives of cloistered nuns

I once wanted to be a cloistered nun.  I bought the mysticism, the drama, the devotion.

After hearing this testimony, I am more grateful, I never came to that decision.

I obviously don't agree with the spiritual conclusions this woman came to, but her testimony of being a cloistered nun doesn't shock me much.

With just what experience I had with cultish communities like, Comunita Cenacolo, and JPII Bible School and Franciscan University of Steubenville, I could totally see this being the logical conclusion to such brainwashing and secrecy.

I officially have taken off the restraints of criticism of religion. It must be done.  Those who reject religious scrutiny, have never lived under it's persecution.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

evaluating our morality

Why are some things ok with us, while others are not? 




evil intentions

What is responsibility?  When would it be more evil to bring a child into this world than to terminate a growing pregnancy?   I am not here trying to argue that the life isn't unique, amazing, full of potential.  What I am arguing is that it would be evil to allow that child to continue to grow given some circumstances.  Some examples: 

If the parents are incapable of raising the child with love and compassion. For example if the parents struggle with mental illness or violence. 

If there is a very real chance of starvation or physical disease. 

That child has severe disabilities and will be completely helpless without the care of others for much of their lives. 

If there is war and ongoing violence and fear. 

If the children will grow up in fear and confusion due to arguing and unstable homes. 

For me this issue has become comparable to euthanasia. To me death is not the most horrible thing that could happen to a person, but extreme suffering is. 

On Morality

When I first decided I was no longer going to believe there is or ever was a God, I still held on firmly to my moral beliefs.  I felt that there must be some bigger reason to believe certain things were good and others bad.

I still believe this, but as I travel down this road, determining what is right and wrong becomes harder when I don't have, "because God says so" to fall back on. There is no black and white.  Even in religions there really is no black and white, but believers like to think there is. In the Bible there are so many conflicting doctrines and commandments.

So, I am faced with figuring out for myself, what is the basis of my morality?  At this point, for me, it comes down to suffering. I am not sure yet where this will lead, but it is where I am today.  I do fear falling off the deep end and losing grasp of what is real and good.

As a conservative Christian, I used to believe very clearly that all killing of a human between conception and natural death was evil.  This did give me pause even then. For example, having worked at a very nice nursing home, there was so much suffering and unnecessary pain and prolongation of life.  Many people had horrible bed sores, were lonely, couldn't eat, talk, move.  This was at a very good facility. I don't want to even imagine the situation at poor or understaffed places.  It made me wonder.  Is it really good to keep these people alive with such low quality of life and intense suffering?

As a conservative Catholic, I was persuaded to believe that all contraception was evil. If someone was going to have sex, then they should be open to the natural consequences. Ugh, thinking of that now makes me think of a comparison like: if a person is going to eat vegetables then it is evil to wash them because that is their natural state coming from the earth.  It really makes no sense.

But, I fell for it. I now have had 6 children in 9 years.  My husband and I are very unstable. My mental health has been stretched to the limits, not to mention my body.   The pain and suffering of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, late nights, diapers, education, health, psychology of the children and parents all added up to nothing when compared to "GOD'S WILL."  If having children can be this difficult for me, a person who had a decent upbringing, college degree, and whose husband makes enough money to be ok, then how much harder must it be for poor, under educated, or even mentally or physically impaired.

It seems so incredibly irresponsible now.  But, that is what it comes down to when we abandon our reason to faith.

Why is this so important to me right now? Because I just ended a pregnancy.  I will blog about that next.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

a safe place to land

One thing that really annoys me about religions is how they draw in young people. They seem to offer a secure place to land and mingle.  They offer history and "answers."  Young people who just want to be accepted and feel a part of something are sucked in without thinking of the long term ramifications.

These groups "love bomb." The young person feels accepted and comforted. Then comes the drama...  There are rules and beliefs. There are differences between their supernatural story and others. Now the young person is faced with a dilemma between friends and social comfort and religious beliefs. More and more effort is poured into trying to prove that their religious circle is right. Because, if it were not, then that would mean that they might have to abandon their comfort zone and friends and events. 

The other option is to stick your head in the sand, Pretend you don't care about these inconvenient issues and carry on.  This is all fine and good typically until years down the road when the ramifications of these beliefs play out and now there is no way to escape the consequences.  Then these issues begin influencing political parties, others freedoms, racism, and future generations.

Perhaps if more secular opportunities arose where young people could be accepted, nurtured, and given a safe place to grow up, then youth wouldn't fall into religion so easily.  But, unfortunately, what I see too often among secular endeavors is profit seeking, people using, social sucks that use up young people and spit them out worse than most religions. 

There is no easy answer.    If only people weren't selfish.  Regardless, it doesn't make religion any more true or any less problematic.   

I believe things like sports, schools, recreation, science, and arts can provide these opportunities to meet and thrive and grow for young and old. There are also just the other social services and volunteer groups.  I hope for a day when we can attain altruistic, social benefits of groups without goofy supernatural beliefs and rules or selfish money seeking frauds that separate, use and consume.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

I think I have found my religion.... (I am not serious)

If he looks like Jesus, walks like Jesus, talks like Jesus.....  must be....  wait.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016


The human mind is so fragile.