Monday, January 20, 2014

deleting blog soon/ UPDATE

Well, it seems maybe there is a benefit from having the blog up longer than I NEED it to be there. If it can help others to process who are going through the same issues, then that is worth it.  I will try to post topics I find relevant and helpful moving forward. Thanks.





I will soon be taking down this blog for at least a time.  I feel it has helped me through a tough period and now I am coming to the other side.  Thanks all for reading and sharing this journey with me!

Live Life Well!

11 comments:

fRED said...

Wow! This really caught me by surprise. I am not sure how to react. Basically, I feel confused.

On one hand, I am glad that you have got through a tough period and are now coming to the other side. However, what-exactly-is the "other side"? Does this mean that you have given up atheism and gone back to the RC-ism?

The blog sub-heading says "taking a break and thinking it through." So what are you done with this break and if so, what do you now think?

And now that you have thought it through (apparently), what suggestions, recommendations do you have for the rest of us who still might be wrestling with the same issue?

AJL said...

Hey fRED, Thanks for wanting me to clarify.

Well, no, I have not gone back. Maybe the other side of the break, but I've decided to quit Religion without any more confusion or struggle. I am not completely closed to the fact that in the end it may all end up being true. Who knows. But, I am very peaceful in living as though it's not.

What do I think now... Hmm.. I think that accepting religion gives us a serious mental handicap. For people like me, it throws off rational thinking and inhibits a person from dealing with life in a truly realistic setting.

I feel like through this past year or so I have been able to work through my choices, beliefs, morals, virtues. I have been able to sift them and figure out mostly what I want to hold on to and what I can leave behind. I do not think I will ever stop considering deeper issues such as relationships, life choices, etc. I just feel much more confident about where I am as a nonbeliever.

If you are still struggling, I would encourage you to examine why you believe certain things. What is your basis for belief? If it comes from anything other that experience and evidence, it stands on shaky ground as far as I am concerned. Feelings, imagination, faith are very convincing if we go with possibilities. But, they can be very misleading. There is a place for fantasy and for truth.

Perhaps I will leave the blog, but I will be posting less and less. Or perhaps I will post of more positive issues of living a good life as a non-believer. I just feel that I should perhaps change the name.. .or subheading. Maybe I will do that now!

Thanks!

fRED said...

How does this fit into your family. What happens in your house on Sunday? It's quite a feat to get 6 kids out the door to attend mass. Does your husband take all of them? Since your youngest was recently baptized, how do your views on religion fit in?

I am utterly perplexed at how this is going to work. Ultimately, someone is going to have to make a choice. I'd be very interested in hearing about what compromises have been made in order to keep the boat afloat.

Bill S said...

I've enjoyed reading your posts. I will miss them.

AJL said...

Well, I haven't been to church since Oct of 2012. I did attend the baptism of Jonah, but I didn't stand during it with the Godparents.

My husband has taken some of our kids on Sundays. Usually he takes at least 2 or 3. He's taken the oldest 5 a few times. Fortunately I don't have to deal with that right now because he is away most of the time with deployment right now. It's one good thing from this hardship.

I told him he can tell the kids what he wants, but I feel that I should have the right to as well. I also do not tolerate negative comments about my choices of non-religion. He has become more and more tolerant and I try to respect him as well.

fRED said...

I don't have any answers nor a specific agenda - except to promote marriage/family. This is both spiritual and political to me.

In my opinion, our society has redefined marriage in a manner that is the opposite of what an actual marriage is. In some respects, this is not new but merely more widespread and accepted.

Marriage has been made into partnerships, parallel lives rather than a melding into ONE (flesh). Children are the most literal and immediate sign of this joining.

The political aspect of the denigration of marriage is division of opposition against the powers that be (oppression). By getting everyone to put themselve first, a unified opposition is eliminated. Divide and conquer.

I see a tremendous challenge in your marriage based on the widely divergent philosophies that you and your husband have. I believe/hope that it can be surmounted by careful action involving truly moving towards becoming one entity. This obviously will require patience and tenacity. It will require great determination. But I believe it is possible.

It would be helpful to have a support structure to assist your effort. Unfortunately, I am not aware of any formal such organization from either the Church or atheism. Nonetheless, we have it within us to be creative and construct our own resources.

There will be a strong temptation from both sides (the orthodox church and secular society) to abandon your marriage due to the "differences."

My marriage failed almost as soon as it began because we could not work through a common vision about having children (and the use of birth control). At the time, this was a non-negotiable subject for me and, unfortunately, there was no one to guide us to a solution - although we sought and tried several resources.

This experience was a significant factor in my separation from Catholicism and eventually Christianity.

My hope is that we (society) are in a transitional phase that will eventually transcend conventional Christianity and the hedonism of secular society.

AJL said...

Yes, there is no clear path, but we can work towards it. Growing up in a divorced home was so traumatic for me. But, I think more than the divorce was the instability and lack of long term relationships. I do believe children need adults to guide and love them in order to make the world a better place themselves. I hope to do this for my kids. My marriage is going very well at this time. It's amazing what love, consideration, and appreciation can do!

Thanks!

General Ursus said...

I just came across your blog by searching "how to find one's way out of Catholicism". Its been difficult to find blogs or websites related to this issue that are not merely disrespectful rants of exCatholics who maintain a dishonest caricature of the faith...that probably don't even know enough to know exactly what they are rebelling against. Like you I'm a convert to Catholicism (Easter 2001). I grew up Southern Baptist.

I've only read a couple of your posts but what I read resonated with me...and you seem earnest and respectful of the faith even though you can't square it.

Anyway, long-story-short, the main issues for me (I haven't been to Mass except for Christmas and Weddings since Fall 2012) have to do with Hell as justice (a travesty of justice in my book) and what I think is the unhealthy sacramental dynamic between communion and confession (shame culture).

I'm sad to see the blog come down when I just discovered it.

Bill S said...

I too, as I said previously, am sad to see the blog come down. I only discovered it recently myself.

Sometimes it happens that you know you have seen the light. I BELIEVED there was a God. It was never something I KNEW. But now I KNOW there isn't.

And based on knowing that, I'm screwed. That worldview does not fit my lifestyle. I have a Catholic wife imploring me to just believe and not think about it. She feels that I will drag her down, otherwise. All sources of inspiration have disappeared. It's not a good thing for me to KNOW right now.

I like the Google search for how to find one's way out of Catholicism. What a good idea.

AJL said...

Hello General and Bill,

I will keep it up I think. Especially if it can help some people. I also had a hard time finding people who could relate with my experience, which is why I created the blog. I will keep it for future use and helpful insights I find as I go. Thanks for the encouragement.

The shame culture you mentioned is so true. There are many wonderful aspects, as I have mentioned before. But, ultimately, they are not based in reality.

I could say ignorance is bliss, but for me, reality has become so much more gratifying.

fRED said...

AJL-
I came across this quote from Teddy Roosevelt that made me think of your family:

"There are many kinds of success in life worth having. It is exceedingly interesting and attractive to be a successful business man, or railroad man, or farmer, or a successful lawyer or doctor; or a writer, or a President, or a ranchman, or the colonel of a fighting regiment, or to kill grizzly bears and lions. But for unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison."

Initially I was not able to track down the actual source but did find it quoted in http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/marriage/mf0031.html (which was the result of a Google search rather than any hunt of Catholic resources). But then I found the real source: Chapt 19 'Outdoors & Indoors' of "Theodore Roosevelt: An Autobiography" (1913)(http://www.bartleby.com/55/9.html)