Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I will miss you Mom

My mom died last week.  It is incredible to believe. My whole world has been turned upside down yet keeps moving forward much the same.  Only now, there is a big empty space where Grammy once was. It sucks. Period.  I wish she was here.

The temporariness of this life has hit me hard and I don't know whether to live it up or go to sleep. I am amazed by all of the people who seem to truly believe in an afterlife.  My poor mother did till the end. Oh, I hope she was right..  How awesome would that be???  Except, it's really probably not real. Of course it would be better to think of her entering heavens gates and singing with the angels.  Except, her heart stopped beating and she's already been cremated.

I got to spend as much time as I possibly could have with her. She loved me so much.  She was a beautiful, tortured soul, striving to please an unseen God, always feeling the wretch in need of forgiveness.  The truth is that she loved.  She was brilliant.  She was beautiful.  She was talented.  She gave to many who did not deserve or appreciate her sacrifice. I was guilty many times.

Mommy....  I love you.. I miss you..  I wish you were here.....

Here's a simple song I wrote... pretty rough quick copy...  but..  it's all I have right now.


fRED said...


Your song is heartfelt and the collage of pictures expresses a life of wonders, challenges, joys, and celebrations to those of us who only know you via distance.

It is hard to lose a loved one. Why does the world continue on. How can it? Have courage. Carry on. You are not alone.

Who knows what it is all about? Life is precious, a quick breath of vapor burned away by the warming rays of an eternal sun.

Joe Wolf said...

I am terribly sorry for your loss.

AJL said...

Thanks fRED and Joe... still miss her.

fRED said...

AJL-I hope that you and your family are well. I miss your posts.